Daddy Made Me Do It

When I was growing up, there were a few things that were absolute in our house. We didn’t question if we could or couldn’t do certain things. There was no question. We knew. We knew, because Dad had said. And, as he likes to quote from a verse in the bible, "Thereunto is the end of the matter."

Housework would be done. Our rooms would be picked up. We wouldn’t live in clutter or filth. It might be our room, but it was in their house. Mom, the "queen" of the house as he liked to call her, would be helped, would be honored, and would be respected. We knew, because Daddy made us do it.

We wouldn’t fight. We wouldn’t raise our voices, and we certainly wouldn’t raise our hands or fists to each other in anger. It wouldn’t be tolerated. We knew, because Daddy made us do it.

Our friends would come inside the house and meet our parents. Mom and Dad would know where we were going, with whom, who would be there, what time we were getting there, what time we were leaving and when we would be home. If we changed our plans, we would inform them. We had to. Daddy made us do it.

When I started dating, I was attracted to a man that was strong, loving, compassionate, humorous, intelligent, kind, gentle, and hardworking. How could I accept anything less? Daddy made me do it.

When I became I mother, I realized we were parenting with set boundaries and strong guidelines. My child is required to respect me. He helps out around the house. His room is reasonable at all times.

We know his friends, we know where he is going, and we know when he will be home. If that changes, he lets us know. He is required to do these things. His Daddy makes him do it.

The best gift a child can have is a loving father that enforces standards of behavior in the home. Standards that include respecting Mom, and every other family member, keeping a clean home, willingly being forthcoming with information, and living in harmony.

It doesn’t happen automatically or even easily. I wouldn’t be the daughter, sister, wife, or mother I am today if I would have grown up in any other home environment. There were times I hated the rules. But now, looking back, I can say I am so glad Daddy made me do it.

So It's A Little Confusing....

If you read my columns or my blog, you will see a unifying theme. It's chaos. Which is why several of these posts suddenly appeared on the same date. No, they didn't all just happen. They just all happened to get posted.

Sorry about that. I've been a bad blogger. I would put them in chronological order, if I could figure out how to do that little thing. I can't. I will try to do better, which should make my editor happy, although he has kindly not said a word.

It should also make my mother-in-law happy, who has said a word, although kindly. This is for you, Grandma. Happy reading.

Changes

It seems like I am tired all the time these days. We have so much stuff going on, and my brain is having a hard time keeping up. I literally have a notebook with me at all times so I can keep up with myself.

Yes, I know every other person in the world has a handy dandy PDA. I’m a low tech kind of girl. Paper and pen works just fine for me.

Part of the tiredness stems from not sleeping. I had underestimated how much work a new puppy would be. We are doing well with our new four month old German Shepherd, but he hasn’t quite mastered sleeping through the night yet. He wakes up at least once to go outside. Considering the alternative, I would rather wake up.

He wakes up for good about 4:30 a.m. He is good, just playing until the rest of the house wakes up. Unfortunately, he doesn’t play quietly. And in our small apartment, it doesn’t take much playing by a forty pound puppy to wake the rest of us up.

We are making other changes too. Logan is almost out of school, and is as excited as a four month old puppy with a new toy. Another school year down thrills him. This has been his best year ever, and we have been so happy with his school this year. His teachers were absolutely amazing, teaching with a joy that I had forgotten existed.

Our biggest change, though, is the one we have been working on the longest. We have found our house in the country that we have been looking for.

When we sold our home in November, we began actively looking for a new home to buy while we rented a place temporarily. After 16 years of this city girl staying with what was most comfortable, my country boy husband and wants-to-be-a country boy son were ready to find their dream spot.

We have looked and considered and even made an offer that was rejected. At the time, the rejection hurt. But now, we are so thankful that seller didn’t like our offer.
Our new home has everything we have wanted since Gary and I first got married. A little land, a lot of privacy, out a little but not too far out.

We can’t wait to begin the process of moving, this time into our dream home. We’ve wanted it more than a decade, and now we are getting it.

Between buying a home, which always has so many details to keep up with; getting the puppy, and preparing for the changes to come, I’m tired. But I am also excited. Changes are not always a good or happy thing, but for us, these changes are something we have been working toward for a long time. We are ready to make finally make them.

The biggest change will be watching this city girl try to turn into a country gal. It may be interesting, and will probably be funny. I’ve got a ways to go….but I’m going to enjoy it every step of the way.

Moving And Mayo

I’ve been talking a lot about chaos lately. I guess that is what has been on my mind the most. We have finally gotten sort of settled in our new home.

Most of the boxes are unpacked; although Logan’s room could still use a little direction. Mainly because he considers it to be an adventure to live out of a box. He sees no reason to unpack, and I see no reason to put an almost 14 year old boy’s room together for him.

We are at a bit of a stand off, although because I detest clutter I see the stand off not lasting long. Those boxes will get gone. Whether they get thrown out packed or unpacked will be up to Logan. But they will be moved out of my home so it will be organized.

Getting the house set up, getting things on the walls, and making it feel like "ours" took a break this week so I could go back to the Mayo Clinic. I had badly wanted every thing completely done before we left for Mayo, but that didn’t happen.

I had to stop unpacking boxes so I could start packing luggage. Going to Mayo is a production at any time, but going when you are moving is an experience. I very much appreciate all the help we had moving in.

However, that help means I am not quite sure where everything is. Finding things I only use occasionally, like the special bag I only take to Mayo, has been interesting.

My mom, my sister, my niece, my nephew, my nephew’s wife, my mother in law, my father in law, and my sister in law all helped us move and unpack. My idea of a logical place for something quickly turned to "just put it anywhere," when they asked where something should go. I thought we would figure it out later.

Later hasn’t come yet. Some things have gotten where they need to be, some things may never be found again. Getting me and Logan to Minnesota, the big dog to the kennel, and the husband and the little dog settled in to stay home by themselves has been a testament to our sense of humor.

Coming home from Mayo always put me in a fog of exhaustion. Perhaps this time, when the fog clears, I will remember where things are, where they need to be, or just make a whole new place for them. After all, this is a time of new beginnings. I guess we can start by making new places for our stuff.

Losing Our Mind

My Mom has my sister convinced I am going through a mid-life crisis. That would be pretty hard to accomplish for a couple of reasons. For one thing, I am no where near mid-life. For another thing, my sister is four years older than me. She hasn’t had her crisis yet, so I can’t possibly be having mine.

They need some valid reason for the major life changes Gary and I are making. Since Gary is perfect and has never made any wrong choices, bad decisions, or out of the ordinary plans in any shape, size or form, this is all my fault. Again. It is our little secret that we could blame every single bit of this on him. But we aren’t going to. It amuses both of us that he is perfect and I am not.

On one hand, I love that they agree I have a perfect husband. On the other hand, I’m getting tired of losing my mind. Although to my sister’s benefit, after she has soothed my Mom, she calls me giggling. Mom has told her of whatever my latest sin is. Teresa makes all the appropriate "can you believe she did that" noises to Mom like a good older, wiser sister should.

Then she calls me. And laughs. She’s been laughing a lot lately. She wondered what we were thinking when we got a new puppy. At this stage, I’m sort of wondering too. Fifty pound headstrong puppies are...well, they are a pain in the neck, and a few other places.

We were thinking we would finally have room on 20 acres for Logan to have the kind of dog he has always dreamed of. We were thinking by getting him now, he would be adjusted to us before the chaos of the move. That was a joke. Chaos is reigning supreme around here, and his name is Jake.

She began to get more concerned when we bought a house out of my usual comfort zone. My city roots means my fantasy place had always been a penthouse, at the top of the tallest building in the largest city. No grass. Just glass, floor to ceiling. A house so far out that Google gets confused when you put in the address isn’t something I longed for as a girl.

But now, I’ve really gone and done it. They had almost gotten used to the dog. They were getting on board with the house. After this past week, they are absolutely sure I’ve lost my mind. My much loved baby car has turned into a big four wheel drive vehicle.

My baby car couldn’t make it to where the new house is without serious damage. I traded in the car that my sister loved so much she immediately went out and bought one just like it, only in red. Teresa is speechless.

She didn’t start this phone call giggling. She started it by saying "You did not." Which made me giggle, knowing Mom had already been talking to her. Sigh. Yep, Sis, I did. What’s worse, I enjoyed it. And worse than that, I’m loving every single minute of driving my big (to me) bad four wheel drive.

If this is a mid (not) life crisis, I hope I get to have more of them. With the exception of the hard headed puppy, we are having the time of our life. I highly recommend them.
Which is what I have been telling my sister. She needs to catch up. She is older, and she is getting behind in a hurry. Her husband already believes I am a bad influence on her. It’s true. I’m sort of proud of that.

Since there is no redeeming me, I think she ought to join in the fun. She needs to go find her a new house. She’s been wanting to move for a few years now anyway. It’s time for a new puppy, although I would recommend one a bit less stubborn than ours. And if she gets a hankering for a souped up ride....hey, it’s her mid-life crisis. What can you do? She has obviously lost her mind.

Chaos and Confusion, For the Sake of Jake

Chaos and confusion is reigning supreme at my home this week, even more than usual. Every minute of every hour of the day and night. We are exhausted and sleep deprived.

We have a new baby in our house, of the fur variety. This particular fur baby is already around forty pounds at three months. We got a german shepherd puppy last week. Jacob Patton Furnish is now a part of our lives.

Which leads to the chaos. Jake is big. Jake is teething. Jake is hungry, all the time. Jake is about 95% housebroken. Jake has lots and lots and lots of energy. Jake can run through our entire house with a forbidden object in about three seconds. We can’t keep up, and Jake can eat/swallow/shred said object before we can retrieve it. He particularly likes shoes, clothing, and rugs.

But what Jake likes best is Chance. Unfortunately, our 10 pound Pomeranian does not share Jake’s affection. Which leads to the confusion. Chance is extremely unhappy with his new little brother, who outweighs him and outsizes him. Jake’s paw is about the size of Chance’s face.

Jake wants to play. So he chases Chance. He nudges Chance. He grabs a toy or a chewie that Chance thinks is his, and runs with it. They each have their own toys, but Chance, having been an only dog for four years thinks everything belongs to him.

For a few days, Chance just hid. Then he just watched for a few more. Then the real fun started. Chance decided he was here first, and this was his house. My little doggie may be only 10 pounds, but he thinks he is 100 pounds. He decided to exercise that imaginary bulk and fight back.

Now, when Jake decides Chance might want to be chased, Chance barks, growls and stands his ground. When Jake steals a toy, Chance steals it back. One day, Chance tried to get a toy, and Jake put his gigantic paw over it. Chance simply walked around, bit Jake’s tail and waited. Jake moved, Chance got his toy.

Chance is little, so he can run behind furniture or jump up on furniture. He finds his spot, and makes a stand. He gets where he is going, and then lets Jake have it.

By this morning, Jake was putting his head down between his paws and backing off. Which is a good thing. Jake will get somewhere between 100 and 125 pounds when he is grown. At 10 pounds, Chance is grown. He needs to get his bluff in on Jake while he can. Jake can hurt Chance without meaning too, so he needs to think Chance can hurt him.

It is sort of funny to watch the little yappy dog boss the big puppy around, and we are making sure neither one of them gets hurt. We don’t want Chance to hurt Jake any more than we want Jake to hurt Chance.

I will be glad when they work everything out, Jake learns who is boss (that would be Chance), runs down on the Puppy Energy, and things just settl back down to our version of normal again. It is never normal around here, but it is interesting. Here lately, it's a little exhausting, too.