Thursday, January 8, 2009

New Year, New Fear

The new year is here, bringing new fear to my heart. Not about the incoming president or the economy or any other of those things everyone keeps telling us we should be watching.
No, my fear is of a much more personal and frightening kind. My son will start driving this year. If that doesn’t give you the same chill bumps and shudders it gives me, you must not know my son.

What were the lawmakers thinking, letting 14 year-old’s drive? Particularly 14 year-old boys? Fourteen. Think about it. And if it has been a while since you have known a 14 year-old boy; trust me, they shouldn’t be driving.

Logan is 13 now, but counting the minutes until August, when that blessed moment comes and the clock ticks down until he can finally, legally, drive. Of course, he can only get a learner’s permit, but that is just fine with him.

He doesn’t care about all the fine print. He just sees the big picture, in bold, large swipes. He can drive. Nothing else matters. Except, it does.

He may be tall enough to drive. Lord knows at the rate he is growing, he may be over six feet by the time August gets here. He is pushing 5'8 now. He may look old enough and big enough and every other "enough" there is.

But there should be some exception in the law. It could be called the "Mom exception." It would go something like this. Fourteen year old boys can drive, if and only if the mom of the 14-year-old boy is ready for him to drive.

Learner’s permits and driving privileges will be awarded based on an in-depth interview with Mom, including a psychological profile determining the damage that may be done to Mom by knowing her child is out on the road somewhere.

This would have to be a "mom exception" because Dads don’t count. That sounds kind of harsh. What I mean is Dads don’t understand. Okay, that sounds bad, too. Dads just, well, don’t think like Moms do. That’s it.

Dad not only is excited about Logan driving, Dad is helping. Dad is coaching. Dad is encouraging. Daddy is giving Mom a headache. He is supposed to be on my side. That’s what couples do. They unite in front of the kids. They are a team. One voice.

However, in this particular instance, being of the male species, Dad thinks 14 year-old boys are perfectly capable of driving. Dad thinks Logan needs to start learning now, so he will be prepared when that fateful day comes in August.

Mom thinks Dad is nuts. Logan thinks Dad is great. Dad thinks Mom is over-reacting just the teeniest tiniest bit. Maybe the law will change between now and August. I think allowing a learner’s permit at about the same time they graduate from high school would be good. There’s always hope.